Believe it or not, I wrote the "Book of Piden," which is why it is filled with such incredible power, and why its my favorite book. For those of you who have not had the honor of reading this incredible literary master piece, let me detail how it ends.

"When the land of Shadow's mercury lake flows black, the great star which shines brighter than all others (me, of course), will sink deep into the abyss only to rise through the ambition of the worthy. Many will celebrate the fall of the star, but it only takes one to raise it back to its rightful place in the sky."

What my genius foresaw in the above passage so many millennia ago, was that eventually the world would unite against me for the purpose of training my new apprentice. Whoever is strong enough to survive the trial that Academy Do-Gooder created to prevent my return, I will reveal all my secretes to them and the location of a store house in the Shadow Lands worth 987 trillion Gold, 789 million Energy Crystals, 467 trillion samples of Element X, 990 billion Super-Foods, and 105 million Immortal Crystals. I'm sure your world could use these resources since you have all nearly depleted your supplies. 

Send me note if you are interested, the Suitcase's  holding realm exist on a vibrational frequency that allows me access to your simple world wide web.